Sometimes I hear people say, "Don't worry; God will never give you more than you can handle." Usually, I just want to...well, I'm sure you understand. Truth be told, I know God will never give me more than I can handle. However, I know He is not up in heaven sitting on His throne saying to Himself (or the angels), "I know Becky can handle this one, so I will just put it on her plate in front of her". The fact is He will never give me more than I can handle, not because I "got the stuff" to deal with it, but because He is able. That is FACT.
I was talking to my health coach today and she told me that I need to make sure I take time to rest. (Hmmm...sounds sort of like something my sweet hubby constantly tells me.) As I listened to her finish her little lecture to me, which really was more of a pep talk, I had to ask..."So, what is "rest"? I mean, I know what it is, but what does it look like for me, I wonder?"
After we hung up our phones, feeling motivated to "rest", I decided to go for a walk that lasted an hour and a half. When I came back, I jumped into the jeep, drove to the gas station, and bought two drumstick ice-cream cones, one for now and one for later, both for me, of course! Once I sat down with my creamy, crunchy treat in hand, I began to think (not that my brain ever actually turns off) about what is on my proverbial plate. Let's see...looking at making a house purchase (God willing), transitioning Judah to a different classroom program at a different school (this requires the ultimate "meeting of the minds" at an ARD), home schooling Noah over the summer, choosing and prepping a daily routine and curriculum this coming year in order to home school Noah the following year, and that is saying nothing about filling out more paperwork for the adoption process. Granted, not all of this takes place over the next week, but still, it is a little daunting when I begin to think about actually doing it. Pathways, Camp Grace, Vacation Bible School, women's Bible study, community group, Sunday school (actually, that's on Neil's proverbial plate) are all on the side, as it were. What was that? Cleaning the house and making meals? Yes, I do know what that is. I'm not entirely sure how, but I'm aware that those things do get done (I need to give my hubby props on helping out here, too.)
All that to say, if I had to handle all this on my own, I think I would retreat to a nice, quiet place, like a convent, and live out the rest of my days there. OK, not really, but you get my point. Often I find myself feeling overwhelmed, sometimes a little fearful, often times scatter-brained, and just plain willing myself through the day. This is obviously not a state of being that reflects a calm, quiet spirit choosing to rest on the Holy Spirit in the midst of a storm. So, that's where I am learning to lean. Lean in close. What is God telling me? What is in His heart for me to hear, to learn right now. Leaning in quietly, listening...not just for a moment, but for this season, however long it may last.
Aaahhhh...so that's what it means for me to rest. Situations have not changed. Circumstances and appointments are still present and on the docket. But my heart is beating calmly to a steady rhythm. My attention is on the God who is omnipotent and able to do all things. Whew! It's so nice to be able to rest in the midst of life's chaos and even disappointments! It's so nice to have the peace that all is going to go well regardless of how it happens, and it's not because I've got the stuff to make it work or overcome it all. It's because He is able.
It's a season for leaning. I guess, really, it never goes out of season.
